prettydream.myfastforum.org

Sara · Newbie Joined: 19 Jul 2007 Posts: 10

5 /23

Sometimes I really, for certain, think I'm loosing it completely. People always tell me I'm nuts and they talk about me and I begin to wonder why am I even here, why can't things just be good? I wish I was some house wife with kids and a husband and a house. Why do I have to wait for that to happen? Why can't it happen now?

The truth: It probably never will.

I have this terrible feeling that as I grow I will only get worse and I will become more and more pathetic and behind in society each day. Then eventually I will fly off the handle and not even my 9 cats will be able to stand me. Whatever is wrong, whatever is causing me to be so pessimistic i need to fix. Or else I'm doomed.

So anyway, It's summer. I'm going to loose weight this summer. Some people have a nagging voice in their head that tells them to do things like Homework, or get a job, or clean. Well, mine says loose weight. I eat all the time and stuff but whenever I do that nagging voice comes into my head saying "Put the fork down fat ass! Every body is watching you, they can see you. How much your enjoying each bite. Secretly, in their minds, they are LAUGHING at you! Then when they go home to their families and friends they are going to talk about you! They are going to say; "Hey! I saw this fat selfish PIG eating today! You should have seen her enjoying every single bite like it was her last. I'm SO glad that I'm not like that. I have control over myself unlike her, that fat pig." and then when you least expect it, your own family will be talking about you behind your back. So you need to straighten up your act. Put that fork down and do a push up, fatty!"

..Yeah. That voice is pretty mean. It's annoying and I want it to go away. This summer I am putting the fork down and I'm doing what she tells me.

wowow This post seems really out of context, but thats whats on my mind.

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love, love, love, sara.